I’m looking forward to winter, even though I hate the cold. I don’t do winter sports and really

don’t like shoveling snow from the driveway. The beauty of the snow is it covers the grass in my yard which means I don’t have to cut it. One of the hardest things about being a single mom has been yard work. I can get a really good pity party going as I push the mower around! I start feeling sorry for myself and all that is required as I raise 5 children, keep a home, work full-time, do all the yard work and find decent guy. The only hitch in my pity party came when I noticed some of my female neighbors mowing their lawns and they have husbands. What was that about? Didn’t they know the proper division of labor? I quickly inquired why on earth they would suffer the indignity of wearing a sweaty old t-shirt, grubby jeans, green tennis shoes marching around the yard in that “stick your butt out mower position.” Some of the admitted mowing was therapeutic. Some said they dd it to have more time with their husbands. Others admitted they liked reallocating the “lawn mowing money” for use on spa days. I asked them to stop, regardless of their individual reasons, because their willingness to mow was ruining my pity party. I had to mow the lawn because there was no man to do it and had assumed it was the only reason anyone would do this chore. It was time for a new perspective.

I remembered a quote on our fridge when I was growing up, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”

Was I willing to change? How long was I going to continue this pity party and keep complaining about my situation? I had to ask myself why I hated mowing. Was it really about a man?  I knew that wasn’t it so why did I resist so much?  I discovered when I am mowing I see all the things that needs to be done, the sprinklers, dead spots, pruning, replanting; so many details in need of attention. Things I didn’t know how to do It was overwhelming. I was afraid I couldn’t do it, so I felt panicked. My mind began to run away thinking I was all alone and I had to do it all, and all by myself, stop take a deep breath, is that true? Am I alone? Have some courage girls, what was true, and what could I do or change?

I cannot change that I am now in charge of everything, including the lawn, buy I can change the belief about doing it all myself.  Who said I had to do everything?  I just have to oversee that it gets done. I can hire someone to fix the sprinkler, edge, prune, or banish the dead spots. I can ask my neighbor, a master gardener for low maintenance tips for my flower bed. I can rally the children to help weed and do the weekly maintenance. Things are not always what they seem and, when we are willing to see with new eyes, we can let go of the “old stories” that bind us. We can shift our perspective to separate fact from fiction and change a long-held belief or attitude which has become a personal burden.

I feel calmer these days. I can manage my yard and that confidence helps me realize I can manage my life as well. Albert Camus said “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay and invincible summer.”

We never know what we are made of until we are pushed to our limit Once I looked beyond my limited self I was able to see my unlimited self I could do it. I can do it. May you each find your own invincible summer as you see the beauty you have within and around you,