My Story

I have been asked how I became a relationship coach.  Like many people on life’s journey it is not where I thought I would end up, a life coach yes, a healer yes. A marriage and family guru, no way, who would listen to me. The universe, or those around me could see in me what I could not see.  It was a zig zag process and in the end “it” chose me. Let me explain.

I grew up in a typical dysfunctional Midwestern family. But as I got older the dysfunction got a little more unmanageable. By the end of my first year of college with the support and encouragement of her five children we asked our mother to save herself and walk away from the poor choices of our father. It was hard but she agreed and started a new life for herself.

I share this not for sympathy but to create a picture of why I was so motivated to create a safe, healthy, happy home for my own children. I was determined that when I had children they would not have the same experiences I had. They would have a stable family life.

I went to college, studied human behavior, graduated with a degree in psychology. I was preparing myself.  I finally had the opportunity to marry a great guy. We had similar values, goals, dreams and desires. I supported him while he finished un-graduate and graduate school. He supported me in starting our family. We had two children while he was in graduate school and I ran a day care at home so I could be with the kids. He graduated with honors and became a Doctor of Chiropractic.

A new chapter began as practices replaced school.  We still worked side by side helping one another.  Our family grew as well. We added three more children for a total of  five amazing children. They kept us busy. It took a lot of time and energy managing the household, businesses, kids activities, keeping everything happy and stable.  All was well. I had succeeded. my children had a stable family life.

THEN……..WAIT FOR IT……..WE DIVORCED.  You knew that happily ever after was only temporary.

Mid life crisis hit, the bottom fell out. We had spent so much time focusing on family life we forgot to nurture our relationship.  In the end after 20 years of marriage we got stuck in some selfishness and went our separate ways.  We were both to blame.

I was  heartbroken, okay devastated.  This was not in my life plan, or maybe it was and I just didn’t know it.  The struggle in our relationship set me on the path that I am still on today. I went back to my roots, my love for learning and started learning how to heal heartache.  I also learned more about my own beliefs and how to manage my thoughts.  I started to reconnect with that authentic part of myself that had disappeared in the overwhelm of life’s responsibilities.

I remembered that I loved to learn and teach. I love helping others. I am a nurturer. I always have been, that is what made being a mother so easy and joyful.  I discovered the coaching model and it really resonated with my principles and philosophies of how to work with people. I like the collaboration of holding the client responsible for their own growth. I can give them the tools but it is their choice if they use them.  I went to school and learned various different modalities of  teaching emotional health and life coaching principles.  I was excited and ready to serve.  I started my own coaching practice at the end of 2005.

In the midst of healing and learning and adjusting to single life with five children there was also dating.  There are rich stories to tell about the dating world but no time to tell them here.  I am fast forwarding to say that it took me about 8 years of dating before I would remarry.  My sweetheart, Rod and I actually dated for quite a few years to make sure that we could survive the storms of marriage and blending families before we married.  He has 5 children and I have 5 children so that makes 10 other personalities besides ours to manage within a family.  You might say we get a lot of opportunity to practice our relationship skills.  Truth be told we are so lucky that they all get along great most of the time.

Now that you have the full picture you can understand why I thought that people may not want to take advice from someone who has been divorced and came from a family that was dysfunctional.  What I learned was just the opposite.  Clients appreciated that I knew where they were coming from.  They would ask me questions about my journey, they knew my answers come from personal soul searching.  I was really committed to helping them make things work.  I have sincere compassion.  I know the frustration and disappointment of heartache.  I will fight with you to save your relationship, especially if children are involved.  Save may mean stay together or separate with kindness and respect.  I strive to keep the love alive in every family.

I have come full circle and can say that my family is stable and strong, full of love and happiness.  I got what I wanted just not how I thought I was going to get it.  Now I am here to help serve those who need a guide on the path.